Dear Auntie
I'm 56 and have fallen in love with a man of 22. Many people tell me that age doesn't matter when you're in love. However, I have an older male friend who thinks that it's wrong and disgusting. He is adamant that we will not last because my boyfriend will get sick of my age and run off with a younger model. It's starting to get me down - how can we prove him wrong?
Mavis, Croydon
Dear Mavis
The sad truth is that your friend is right. You might still scrub up ok after he's had a few pints but these dark mornings don't last. One day he will wake up next to you and see you for the withered, saggy, botox-infested old slapper that you undoubtedly are, you filthy paedophillic old whore. Put him the fuck down - his mates are already laughing at him you know, you selfish sow. You fucking disgust me - get someone you own age. Auntie
PS If your older male friend is Adam Ant can you get me his autograph - loved all that 80's shit.
