Dear Auntie
My sister has just told me that she's gay.  I want to be supportive, but I'm really having trouble coming to terms with it.  She would like me to meet her partner, but I'm not sure.  Can I refuse?  Kym, Consett

Dear Kym
NO YOU CAN'T REFUSE, YOU BIGOTTED COW!  What do you think will happen if you meet her partner?  That you will somehow become infected by her lesbianism?  Or that she will try and coerce you into having her as a filling in a sister sandwich?  Your sister is just gay you daft bint - it's not a disease.  Try supporting her, you selish sow, it was probably very difficult for her to tell you this.  You like a bit of cock (when you chill the fuck out), but your Sis likes minge, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!!  Now stop bothering me, I'm trying to relax!  Auntie